-patient walked out on me for the first time today. he got too tired of waiting. sorry dude! a lot of people wait a long time in the waiting room and then leave. but we actually already started taking his xrays. i had to check on another patient. then the next thing i knew he was gone. oops.

this is a big difference with medical assistance and ...lessay a private clinic in an affluent suburb. i don't really remember waiting a long time at the dentist. except that one dentist in ann arbor. granted, i never had any complications or major work done. but i feel really bad for all the patients here who are sitting in the waiting room for a really long time. sometimes they come early. so it can be up to 2 hours. for the most part, i've been impressed because a lot of people don't seem to mind. they spend a LOT of time waiting. my coworkers tell me that they are used to it. maybe they don't mind because they know that they are essentially receiving free care (on behalf of the government). to some people, maybe it beats having a day job. ok. so here is some jaded residue coming out and being expressed here.
the other day, S came in for a filling. and she came in really early. so during lunch she asked monin if she was gonna be seen any time soon. monin explained that it would be a few minutes because "the doctor's at lunch right now".
she responded with one eyebrow raised, "lunch?!"
monin got defensive because she's been working her whole life and knows that it's important to have breaks and lunch during a long workday. she assumed that the patient probably does not work and therefore does not know what it means to earn a living. as opposed to living off welfare. granted, S has a lot of children. and that's a job in it of itself. but. i find that a lot of my coworkers take a lot of pride in the fact that they work really really really hard. they are from the same community here in kensington. and they've managed to overcome the obstacles and barriers that poverty throws at them.
anyway, there's a lot more going on here.
but yeah. i eat lunch. and it's, largely, for the sake of the patients. because i don't think they would want me to pass out on them.
there's a part of health care provider culture that says, "i'm important. it's okay if i sometimes 'forget' to eat lunch, because i'm busy serving others."
i've probably gotten rid of that mentality 97.5%.
it's rare that i get my full 60 minute lunch.
most of the time i'm stuffing my face in 5-10 minutes.
here's another aspect of the balancing game.

-this afternoon, went to south philly to play catch with lil'sister. it makes me happy to see lots of kids playing outside and gives me hope that this entire generation is not indoors all the time playing video games. the younger kids were linguistically segregated. but the older kids were mixed on the bball court. lil'sister throws the football like a guy but catches like a girl. stereotypically speaking. she laughed when i told her that. i hope she will laugh more.

-went to see the capucci exhibit at philadelphia museum of art yesterday. loved it. capucci is reputed to have saved italian fashion in the 50s. he made it to the top, so now he barely designs to sell. only designs dresses as art. which is probably every artist's dream - to create without boundaries, rather than being bounded by the consumer. anyway, i've been trying to milk my art museum membership since it's expiring end of march. sadly museums here (or anywhere?) are not designed for the commoner's budget.