I think yesterday was "FACE YOUR DENTAL FEARS DAY!" and also Men's Ministry day on the side.

SIGH.

It probably started the night before when my brother facebook posted this youtube video of "goats yelling like humans, complete mashup". I commented, "sounds like my patients"... even though I've had maybe 10 patients who have made such noises in the last 3 years of practice.

Well, today, everyone who is at all hysterical (hysterical like hysteria, not like hilarity) at the idea of 'DENTAL NEEDLES' came in. We often have to cradle young children who are afraid during injections, cajoling them, and trying to soothe them.
We had to do this with grown adults today, patient after patient after patient. They were all making goat human whines and whimpers. Earlier on in my career, this would have significantly raised my stress level.

Either I have grown numb to such stress, and my baseline stress is always on high. Or, hopefully, I have grown numb to the stressors, so these screams and yells don't bother me quite as much. Please let it be the latter! -_- For the sake of my future heart health. ^_^

One patient came in August and was told she needed a few teeth out. She no-showed three times since then. Suddenly she returned and wanted all her work done in two weeks because she is traveling to Puerto Rico. Also, her granddaughter head-butted her in the face (well-intentioned baby who was just running around, not a psychotic violent grown granddaughter - must qualify here), which resulted in her grossly decayed front teeth fracturing. She cannot afford the generous medicaid fee of 120$ for a root canal because she is poor. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt that she does not have enough money for a plane ticket to PR either, and that someone in her family purchased the ticket for her. To prevent me from getting jaded and bitter about the medicaid/welfare/US economic situation/fallen fallen world. I have to constantly remind myself that not everyone has the same financial values as myself. Sometimes I don't have consistent financial values at any given moment. God is in control. There are worse things that happen in the world compared to people using welfare money for travel. There are worse things that happen in the world compared to people prioritizing travel over health. Daaahhh.

Next was a woman, who was soooo afraid that she was sick to her stomach. She kept gagging, and then thrusting her body as if to vomit. The only thing that would come out was saliva. I worriedly asked her if she had anything for breakfast, in case she would really vomit. She starts enumerating, "eggs, scrapple, sausage..."
Me: "Excuse me, did you just stay scrapple?"
Pt: "Yes. I really like scrapple."
In my head: "OMG I really hope she doesn't barf out scrapple."
She didn't.
Something that has recently made my life easier is that we found out for patients living at a federal poverty income level or less ($10,800 per year for 1 individual), we just charge them $45 per visit, no matter how much work I do. Sometimes people get a crapload of work for $45. I might as well work for free. I love working for free. That is material for another post. So, for patients who are scared, sometimes it encourages them to suck it up, and get their work done, for the sake of not having to pay another $45. This woman, let me take her two teeth - 100% bone loss. The kind where if you sneeze, the teeth would fall out.

Side men's ministry- J has been trying to get his life back on track. He got in a lot of trouble in his youth. After he did his jail time, he battled cancer. Following that bout he decided he wanted to mentor youth, to help keep them out of illegal things. Today he shows up with a black eye.
Me: I'm so sorry. What happened?
J: Guy hit me with his gun. He wanted to shoot me but his gun jammed.
Me: Wow, God saved your life. Do you believe that?
J: Yeah.
Me: Where did this happen?!!!
J: Two blocks from my house. My neighbour helped me get back to my house. He took my phone and wallet.
Me: When?!!!
J: Saturday night.
Me: WHAT TIME?!
J: 3 a.m.
Me: Yeah?
J: Oh yeah. I was coming back from the club.
Me: Ok...
J: Yeah, and there was this girl who kept trying to get me to leave with her. But I said I have a girl at home, and I'm not that kind of guy. So I had to sneak out to get away from her.
Me: Ok. I guess you did the right thing.
J: Shoot, that's why God protected me. But, if I had to choose, I woulda preferred waking up next to her over getting jumped.
Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
J: Oh. I was just kidding.
Me: So we know to stay away from trouble now?
J: For sure.
Me: Like, don't even go near it. Avoiding trouble means to stay far, far away. FAR, FAR AWAY!!!!
J: Uhh.
Me: FAR, FAR AWAY!!!!

We ploughed through. And the day ends. I'm grateful for a job that I cannot take home with me.  Thank you, Lord, for sustaining me each day. By grace alone. For reals.
And thank you, Lord, for the gift of writing, to let me spew all this out into cyberspace. Pretty cathartic to get this all out of my system. Bleehh aaarrghhh.