-8 mos pregnant patient came today, she was wearing 3-inch heels. dunno how that's done. but i've seen it so it's true.

-last patient of the day was shot in the face and four other times, including the back, leaving the left leg paralyzed. story is that there was a fight going on in a bar and people started shooting. pt doesn't remember much. but is missing part of the jaw. the human body is very resilient.

-kids that smell like urine make me sad.

-kids that are really honest make me laugh.

-had a small booger on my face on my way to work this morning (should wake up earlier and actually check the mirror before leaving). thankfully R was on the train today and let me know before getting to the office. i suppose it wouldn't have been too apparent since i wear a mask most of the day.

on mondays i always ask patients, "did you have a good weekend?"
usually it's "yes" or "ehn" or "no".
if it's a "no" then i gotta sit down and listen for a while.
if it's a "ehn" it's usually because the weekend was boring.
if it's a "yes" then it could be a variety of responses.

anyway, one patient responded with "yes!"
so my follow-up question is, "did you do anything fun?"
and this dude replies, "i went dancing."
me: oh, where?
patient: at the club. [with a big grin on his face]
me: what kind of dance?
patient: bachata, salsa, everything.
me: ok. are you a good dancer?
patient: OF COURSE i'm a good dancer! i'm dominican!!!

i laughed awkwardly, as i so frequently do.
so, way to play up the stereotypes here.
i don't doubt that he'd be a good dancer... but
how is the dominican who doesn't think he is a good dancer going to feel? or how is the dominican who wants to be a good dancer, but everyone tells him that he really sucks at dancing going to feel?

kinda like the, "OF COURSE, I'M GOOD AT MATH!" statement. -___-

anyway, what are some things that i would say that would preface "i'm taiwanese!"?
-of course i have a big butt! (i dunno why that was the first thing that came to mind.)
-of course i can make cute and funny facial expressions!
-of course i speak chinese!
-of course my parents are really smart... but kinda neurotic!
-of course i love bubble tea!

--
pray for japan!

-broke down late morning and cancelled the afternoon, which hasn't happened since kindergarten.

-only to stay at work for 3 more hours trying to catch up on other work, then finally went home to rest.

-the ironic thing is that normally i feel crappy in the mornings because i'm not a morning person. it takes about 2 hours for me to wake up. today, i felt great! hardly ever happens.

-i'm not that emotional. i ugly cry maybe once a year. i think i could have today but i refrained because it's only the beginning of march.

-big contrast from yesterday's post.

had such a diverse day today!

dentures, root canal, extractions, fillings, exams, some complicated people, some fun kids, a muslim woman wearing the full burka (she removed the cloth covering the bottom of her face so that i could check her poorly managed teeth and gums), drug rehab center dude, australian man doing ministry in philly, aspiring fashion designer/lady gaga super fan...

and it was pretty enjoyable even though all of us were a little snippy with one another. hehe.

i'm getting used to the latin sass!

the hardest is at the end of the day when it is time to go home and then someone comes and it's a stretch to stay late, but then she bursts into tears and asks if i can pleaaaase help her.

all these things (cumulatively) kinda take a physical toll. but as a professional, i'm probably not 'allowed' to 'lose it' or 'break down', at least not in front of a patient, even though there is a part of me that kind of wants to, or at least scream. maybe i should take up some hobbies like going to a batting cage, or the driving range, or chopping wood. i dunno. anyway, there's that heat of the moment. and then. when i zoom out. things really aren't that bad. and not really worth freaking out.

everyone talks about BALANCE. i've been choosing not to be one of those health professionals that "forgot" to eat lunch/go to the bathroom. it's kinda hard. but at the same time, i didn't come here to take it easy.

i have a high tolerance for awkwardness - i'm a dentist! my career involves me sticking my hands in people's mouths. often with their head practically on my lap. (the little kids' heads are actually on my lap. but that's more cute than awkward.)
i'm selectively affectionate. and may not like hugs from certain people. but i'll probably get over it quickly.
hmm. i must have issues. haha.

patient today:
"this is weird. i don't even let my girlfriend touch me in places like that." (in reference to me removing his molar.)
dude. WTF?!

moving on to happier things. i love teaching the kids math! and i'm on this kick of teaching 2nd and 3rd graders the nine-times-table with the fingers' trick. i'm sad that the concept of "times by", "pluses", "minuses", and "divide by" is not really grasped/taught? though. because these kids kinda think arithmetic is sorta magic. like, rote memory. but maybe they don't really get that if they want to buy three toys for $2 each that it's gonna be $6.

anyway, to distract Z from the fact that we were gonna remove her infected tooth, i started quizzing her arithmetic. i wanted to let her know that anything times zero is zero. then she asked me 3 divided by zero. and i had to pause for a moment.

[umm... doesn't make sense.]

and quickly changed the subject to 'anything times 1 is anything'.

sadly i revisited this question and doubtfully think that anything divided by zero does not exist. thanks to google, i confirmed that the answer is undefined/infinity.

phew!

-inundated with work this month! which is good to push me. but tiring and refining.

-when it's crazy hectic during the day, it's a tougher fight to stay focused on eternal things. and then at the same time, easier because i'm aware of the fight and trying to be more intentional in offering to pray for patients and praying for myself (help me get through the day, God... oh yeah, You exist. ah, peace.)

-once i get used to this, there is gonna be another major change (adding another dentist to the team). always changes to keep me on my tired toes.

-if i marry rich, i'd work for free.

-because my passive-aggressive tendencies have been surfacing, and it's very humbling/humiliating, i forced myself to write cards and make snack packages for dental team members. sadly, it was kind of a challenge to think of three things that i appreciate about each person. it was much easier to draw cartoons of them. affirming and encouraging words used to roll off my tongue so fluidly. i'm out of practice.

-patient's teenage son was sitting in the corner waiting for him mom to get her work completed. he pulled out a brush from his pocket and started combing his beard. i make fun of everyone and definitely called him out on it. "whattya doin'?!!!" his mom called him out too. "you're ridiculous!" anyway, after they left, i was at the computer in the corner and noticed a hairball on the floor. dammit, it was his beard hair. i started whimpering. calvin graciously picked it up w/ his gloves and threw it away. "if my wife saw that she'd freak out too." thanks, stacy!

-my coworkers like to make fun of their peoples and when they do their exaggerated spanish accents they always pronounce "you" like, "jew". today i heard chris's little patient in the hallway:
kid: you're my friend.
chris: how do you say friend?
kid: amigo!
chris: okay, we'll see you next time.
kid: thank jew!
so cute!
i dunno if i'm allowed to do fob spanish accents yet.

-chicago after work tomorrow!

overheard Z asking ada, "am i also going to see the other lady that i saw last time? she looks kinda chinese."

somehow that is 100% less offensive than "where's the chinese girl?"
partially because Z is only 7 years old.
but the "kinda" and "looks" ironically makes it more of an objective statement.

actually, i DO kinda look chinese.