dear cyberspace,
yesterday our team at work found out that one of our patients stabbed his girlfriend to death on saturday. she was also one of our patients. we also saw their kids, ages 3, 2, and 1. we also see his grandmother and mother.
i can't find much information about the incident on the news, because sadly, violence like this in inner city north philadelphia are not considered "news". it happens way too often. "it" referring to "crazy s---". as much as i try to eliminate profanity from my vocab, the english language, as prolific as it is, simply cannot describe it better than "crazy s---".
calvin made the comment that if this happened in the suburbs, it would have been front page, filled with articles and memoriam regarding the victim, and how to help.
anyway, as a way to mourn and address my shock/vicarious trauma/grief, i'd like to write a little obit here.
--
Z.F. was a lovely young woman with a great smile. she always carried herself with gracefulness and dignity. she was the caring mother of three young children. she was a supportive girlfriend, daughter and grand-daughter. she was ambitious and wanted to advance in her career. she was organized, carrying around her huge weekly planner wherever she went.
i got to know Z during her several dental visits and as she also accompanied her family members. she never failed to be polite. she asked a lot of questions and also was open to sharing her life's stories.
she met her boyfriend/baby daddy a few years ago. she didn't like him at first, but he pursued with perseverance and finally won her over. he, K.R. seemed to depend on her a lot. whenever i worked on his teeth, she would hold his hand the entire time. K.R. was also always courteous, though more on the quiet side.
Z.F. passed away at age 24 on saturday, stabbed to death after a domestic argument. K.R., age 23, confessed to the stabbing and is currently being prosecuted for murder. L.N.F., Q.N.F, and L.D.R. are reportedly staying with extended family in delaware.
----
some thanks/lessons learned:
-during lunch after we found out, our team paused and prayed for the family. it's awesome to work in a place where in times of crisis, we can stop and remember our Lord, asking him for strength and peace. i might not see these patients ever again, but i was reminded that our ministry to patients does not just happen when they are in the dental chair, but it happens remotely through our prayers as well.
-i've never really had to deal with such gory news with anyone that i've met face-to-face, and i admit that i was approaching a moment of hysteria. i didn't know why because, after all, i'm just their dentist. and i was only their dentist for about 4 months. my boss reminded me that it must be a hard and heavy news to deal with because i cared for them. yes, i did care for them. and i do care for the family. this is what it's like to be in a helping profession, to encounter thousands of people over a lifetime and rejoice/suffer alongside others. i suppose i could choose to be a dentist that doesn't care. but i'm trying hard not to turn into a dental robot. sometimes my dentistry fails, to my dismay and the only thing that carries me through is my care. i'm so thankful for so many senior doctors at esperanza (i'm the youngest practitioner so far at this time), who exemplify christ's care in our practice.
-after my meltdown in march, i did a few sessions of counseling. my therapist, who is familiar with my organization, informed me that the majority of people who work in my org suffer from vicarious trauma. my inner hypochondriac was excited to receive a diagnosis! i could see that a year and a half of working in the inner city brought a cumulative sum of second-hand, third-hand vicarious trauma. but this was the first time i experience first-hand vicarious trauma. now i can relate better to the traumatized. i've graduated to the next level of empathy. and i've graduated to the next level of casting heavier burdens on christ. 1 peter 5:10.
-so i've shared the story with various people in my philly community life over the past couple days. i've encountered several different reactions. it inspires interesting conversation about death. how does culture affect our response to death? what has shaped my perspective on death?
-recently i've been receiving news of friends' babies born. i'm so happy for new life that enters the world, amidst other lives are ending.
--------
on shock:
-when taina first heard the news from zoraida, she wept. when i heard the news from taina, i yelped. i felt the need to sit down. i almost wanted to vomit or cry. but i could do neither. i imagined what it might have been during the crime. it just seemed so surreal. gun violence someone distances a murderer from their victim. it also happens more quickly. but to think about stabbing. where there is resistance. there is conscious pain. there is a killer who is just overtaken by madness and anger. madness. the state of mind of reckless madness. during the kensington strangler deal, i read up on a little about the psychology of serial killers, how they like to have a relationship with their victims. this is probably this case of where love goes mad. K.R. obviously couldn't live without Z.F. like, most kids hold their mama's hands when i give them injections, and sometimes when i extract teeth. but, holding baby's mama's hands even when i'm just checking for decay? i can deal with PDA (lived in france for a year!), but it's not like i can say that i enjoy it, especially in my dental chair. anyway, i suppose there was definitely some remorse since he did confess after all. "what have i done? i can't live without her. damn."
-everyone has a deep story. everyone is broken. everyone is in need of grace. i know i'm just as capable of snapping. it's only God's grace that i haven't done anything with such horrendous consequences to this day.
-of course people may seem nice if i only see them every other week. who knows what goes on in the home behind closed doors.
--------
a prayer:
-on christ the solid rock i stand, all other ground is sinking sand.
-urban life is definitely a lot more stressful than college town serenity where i spent all of my educative years. dental school was possibly the hardest thing i've been through. but, the brokenness and poverty of an inner city neighbourhood usher in a spiritual battle that is wearing on the body, mind and soul. Lord, sustain us. thank you that you are bigger than all these strongholds. thank you that you have already conquered death and sin and fallen-ness.
-please redeem and restore this ugly situation. redeem and restore K.R.'s soul. redeem and restore the kids' souls.
-our life on earth is but a flicker. help me to invest in eternal things and to live for you and your kingdom alone.
amen.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
since i've been trying to go outside and walk around during lunch these days, i'm seeing a lot more reality kensington.
wed went to see dexter across the street. we've been working at the same corner all these months and never knew. so it was fun seeing the pharmacy and meeting all the feisty women he works with. they all told their boss about me and now i gotta go again to meet him and be neighbourly. apparently they gotta lock down the place real well at night because there was a break-in in the past where someone DRILLED A TUNNEL through the wall from the back alley to steal drugs.
dexter showed me a bottle of 500 endocet, which costs them about 45$. each pill can sell on the street for $5 each. meaning one could potentially make 2500$ for the bottle.
this is why we do not carry narcotics at esperanza. too much liability.
today i didn't have any food. went to turner's to maybe bring some baked goods to the pharmacy girls as a neighbourly gesture. and since i knew boss jimmy would be there. but marvin was out. i guess he just opens and closes as he pleases. he needs to get air conditioning.
finally, i decided to buy some produce - they were so nice there! $1.50 for a bag of peaches. not too shabby!
on my way there i ran into O. i haven't decided what i should do when i see patients on the street/in the subway. since a lot of people might not want to publicize who is their dentist/that they see a dentist. whatever hipaa rules and stuff. hipaa with dentistry is a little weird. lots of people tell me their dental stories alllll the time and are very open about what goes one w/ their teeth, telling the whole world and all. it's a little different than say, seeing a psychiatrist. or seeing an oncologist. or a plastic surgeon. or other more sensitive issues. however, we are all bound by the same privacy laws. anyway, so O saw me and made eye contact, so i thought, what the heck. i waved really dramatically, then was hoping for the euro bisou rather than a handshake coz who knows what he's touching on the street. but too late, he extended for a handshake and saw that i was extending my cheek so gave me a bisou anyway. then he exclaims to his friend (as they are both smoking on the corner), "hola! das my dentist! where you going?"
and i have no idea why i do this, but i tend to imitate the way people speak. and in this case sounded like a spanish fob. and replied, "i'm hohngry! going to get food!" then skipped away.
O is a recovering drug addict and who knows if he was in a gang. but he knows the streets. he's older now, so kinda retired from a lot of la vida loca. and of course looks older than he is coz of the drugs/smoking.
in contrast to this rather peaceful stroll amidst the urban heat and humidity, right after the produce station i went to walgreens to look for snacks. it seemed crowded but i could imagine a lot of the people were lingering in the store to witness lots of hullabaloo.
security guard was talking in a raised voice with this dude in handcuffs right when i walked in.
"YOU WOULD MUCH RATHER DEAL WIT ME, THAN DEAL WIT DA COPS OUT THERE."
"but i didn't steal anything."
"YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL AND TELLING ME ALL THE SAME STORIES. BUT YOU'RE NOT A PROFESSIONAL, COZ YOU GOT CAUGHT. I'M WATCHING YOU! I SAW EVERYTHING! I'M JUST DOING MY JOB."
"i didn't take anything out of the store."
"YOU KNOW WHAT MY PROTOCOL IS, IF YOU'RE PUTTING THINGS IN YOUR SHIRT AND TRYING TO LEAVE THE STORE. I'VE DONE THIS, LIKE, SIX HAHNDRED TIMES."
then they went back and forth so the entire store could hear.
well, mainly the security guard wanted to flash his badge and feel like he had some power, in a city where, as a minority, he's kinda disempowered in a lot of ways. and who knows what his home life is like. anyway, i'm glad he's doing his job and catching shoplifters. but, the flamboyant display of words was a bit unnecessary and disheartening.
meanwhile, there were two semi-older men trying to return a phone card (where he had already scratched the covering off the pin number). he swore it was unused and that there is no printed notice that it cannot be returned. a younger man in line was trying to translate/reiterate/mediate between the men and the manager. the manager didn't give them much time, frankly told them the no-return policy and walked away. the younger man tried explain what the manager said. the older men were so frustrated, they stormed out the door yelling, "WHERE'S HIS F****** CAR, I'M GONNA THROW A F****** BRICK AT IT!"
the manager was minding his own business when the security guard and cashier were trying to tell him, "they just said they was gonna throw a brick at your car."
manager walks towards the door to take a look.
cashier: "YOU BETTA NOT GO OUT THERE AND LOOK AT YOUR CAR, OTHERWISE THEY KNOW WHICH ONE IS YOURS!"
i was gonna narrate everything else here, but time is short and i don't want to give glory to all the profanity that i heard over the span of 4 minutes paying for my snacks, then walking out through the parking lot, and across the street.
so much is happening on one corner, every single day. can't keep track of it all!
in my mind, i want to be a good citizen and be helpful. but it's moments like these that make me want to just mind my bidness and keep to myself. very typical asian-american thing to do. i guess there's a fine balance between wanting to serve versus wanting to be a hero. i always imagine these scenarios where i would go crazy on vigilantism. and i'm thankful that i have yet to encounter some scenarios and have not done anything foolish (street-wise). God is protecting me here!
wed went to see dexter across the street. we've been working at the same corner all these months and never knew. so it was fun seeing the pharmacy and meeting all the feisty women he works with. they all told their boss about me and now i gotta go again to meet him and be neighbourly. apparently they gotta lock down the place real well at night because there was a break-in in the past where someone DRILLED A TUNNEL through the wall from the back alley to steal drugs.
dexter showed me a bottle of 500 endocet, which costs them about 45$. each pill can sell on the street for $5 each. meaning one could potentially make 2500$ for the bottle.
this is why we do not carry narcotics at esperanza. too much liability.
today i didn't have any food. went to turner's to maybe bring some baked goods to the pharmacy girls as a neighbourly gesture. and since i knew boss jimmy would be there. but marvin was out. i guess he just opens and closes as he pleases. he needs to get air conditioning.
finally, i decided to buy some produce - they were so nice there! $1.50 for a bag of peaches. not too shabby!
on my way there i ran into O. i haven't decided what i should do when i see patients on the street/in the subway. since a lot of people might not want to publicize who is their dentist/that they see a dentist. whatever hipaa rules and stuff. hipaa with dentistry is a little weird. lots of people tell me their dental stories alllll the time and are very open about what goes one w/ their teeth, telling the whole world and all. it's a little different than say, seeing a psychiatrist. or seeing an oncologist. or a plastic surgeon. or other more sensitive issues. however, we are all bound by the same privacy laws. anyway, so O saw me and made eye contact, so i thought, what the heck. i waved really dramatically, then was hoping for the euro bisou rather than a handshake coz who knows what he's touching on the street. but too late, he extended for a handshake and saw that i was extending my cheek so gave me a bisou anyway. then he exclaims to his friend (as they are both smoking on the corner), "hola! das my dentist! where you going?"
and i have no idea why i do this, but i tend to imitate the way people speak. and in this case sounded like a spanish fob. and replied, "i'm hohngry! going to get food!" then skipped away.
O is a recovering drug addict and who knows if he was in a gang. but he knows the streets. he's older now, so kinda retired from a lot of la vida loca. and of course looks older than he is coz of the drugs/smoking.
in contrast to this rather peaceful stroll amidst the urban heat and humidity, right after the produce station i went to walgreens to look for snacks. it seemed crowded but i could imagine a lot of the people were lingering in the store to witness lots of hullabaloo.
security guard was talking in a raised voice with this dude in handcuffs right when i walked in.
"YOU WOULD MUCH RATHER DEAL WIT ME, THAN DEAL WIT DA COPS OUT THERE."
"but i didn't steal anything."
"YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL AND TELLING ME ALL THE SAME STORIES. BUT YOU'RE NOT A PROFESSIONAL, COZ YOU GOT CAUGHT. I'M WATCHING YOU! I SAW EVERYTHING! I'M JUST DOING MY JOB."
"i didn't take anything out of the store."
"YOU KNOW WHAT MY PROTOCOL IS, IF YOU'RE PUTTING THINGS IN YOUR SHIRT AND TRYING TO LEAVE THE STORE. I'VE DONE THIS, LIKE, SIX HAHNDRED TIMES."
then they went back and forth so the entire store could hear.
well, mainly the security guard wanted to flash his badge and feel like he had some power, in a city where, as a minority, he's kinda disempowered in a lot of ways. and who knows what his home life is like. anyway, i'm glad he's doing his job and catching shoplifters. but, the flamboyant display of words was a bit unnecessary and disheartening.
meanwhile, there were two semi-older men trying to return a phone card (where he had already scratched the covering off the pin number). he swore it was unused and that there is no printed notice that it cannot be returned. a younger man in line was trying to translate/reiterate/mediate between the men and the manager. the manager didn't give them much time, frankly told them the no-return policy and walked away. the younger man tried explain what the manager said. the older men were so frustrated, they stormed out the door yelling, "WHERE'S HIS F****** CAR, I'M GONNA THROW A F****** BRICK AT IT!"
the manager was minding his own business when the security guard and cashier were trying to tell him, "they just said they was gonna throw a brick at your car."
manager walks towards the door to take a look.
cashier: "YOU BETTA NOT GO OUT THERE AND LOOK AT YOUR CAR, OTHERWISE THEY KNOW WHICH ONE IS YOURS!"
i was gonna narrate everything else here, but time is short and i don't want to give glory to all the profanity that i heard over the span of 4 minutes paying for my snacks, then walking out through the parking lot, and across the street.
so much is happening on one corner, every single day. can't keep track of it all!
in my mind, i want to be a good citizen and be helpful. but it's moments like these that make me want to just mind my bidness and keep to myself. very typical asian-american thing to do. i guess there's a fine balance between wanting to serve versus wanting to be a hero. i always imagine these scenarios where i would go crazy on vigilantism. and i'm thankful that i have yet to encounter some scenarios and have not done anything foolish (street-wise). God is protecting me here!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
another example of emotions in PR culture.
today S came back for her teeth to be cleaned. i asked if she had any summer plans. she said that they might move to new york. then talked about this roller coaster ride of how she was supposed to find out in april, then may, and now the news is postponed until june. and the suspense is killing her! even though she is only 7 years old.
i asked if she wanted to move.
she said no.
i told her how i had to move at 14 and it sucked. but it makes us stronger.
at the end of our visit, i said, 'hopefully i'll see you in six months, but if not, then i'll say bye right now just in case.'
then she goes, 'stop! you're gonna make me cry!' as she's waving her hands in front of her face, like, feeling verklempt.
so, we hug.
then she goes, "it was nice knowin' ya."
sooo precious!
anyway, sometimes people say that this job is really hard and thankless. but there are the occasional patients that make it all worth it.
i can't say this was enough of a healing moment to compensate for the other 20 patients i saw today in 90 degree heat. haha. but, it definitely makes a positive difference.
the parents of this family sold their beauty supply store and are going to pursue full-time ministry, hence the possible move to a new city.
anyway. i know these girls (S and her sisters) are in good hands and Good Hands.
today S came back for her teeth to be cleaned. i asked if she had any summer plans. she said that they might move to new york. then talked about this roller coaster ride of how she was supposed to find out in april, then may, and now the news is postponed until june. and the suspense is killing her! even though she is only 7 years old.
i asked if she wanted to move.
she said no.
i told her how i had to move at 14 and it sucked. but it makes us stronger.
at the end of our visit, i said, 'hopefully i'll see you in six months, but if not, then i'll say bye right now just in case.'
then she goes, 'stop! you're gonna make me cry!' as she's waving her hands in front of her face, like, feeling verklempt.
so, we hug.
then she goes, "it was nice knowin' ya."
sooo precious!
anyway, sometimes people say that this job is really hard and thankless. but there are the occasional patients that make it all worth it.
i can't say this was enough of a healing moment to compensate for the other 20 patients i saw today in 90 degree heat. haha. but, it definitely makes a positive difference.
the parents of this family sold their beauty supply store and are going to pursue full-time ministry, hence the possible move to a new city.
anyway. i know these girls (S and her sisters) are in good hands and Good Hands.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
giving an injection to a kid yesterday and he kinda squealed. i felt really bad. he was strong and fought it and didn't go berserk, like some kids. he just kinda screamed and said, 'IT HURTS!!!'
then after it was done, he just sat there kinda stunned, breathing deeply, and repeating, 'goddamm', over and over and over.
so it's heartbreaking on multiple levels.
i hate making kids cry w/ injections.
he's using his words... but who in the world taught him those words? he's only 6.
anyway, i tried to get him to calm down, like trying to calm down a baby.
calvin, not really knowing what to say goes, "umm... maybe you can use different words to express your pain?" or something along those lines.
i dunno if he heard that or not. we try to facilitate positive teaching moments w/ the patients. but unfortunately, the vulgar reaction is already kinda infused in his mind.
----------
hitched a ride w/ dexter the other day and he decided to drive down kensington. i never drove down that way before, usually taking frankford in the car or can't see the street from the train. anyway, totally shed new light on what people are talking about when they say "rough". my block doesn't seem that bad. the brokenness is masked by lots of storefronts and businesses. the corner towards somerset is more notorious for drugs, prostitution and other crime. def more people spaced out on the corners and sitting on the stoops.
when it's bright and sunny outside it doesn't seem that bad. and sometimes i entertain the idea of incarnational ministry... like living and working among the people.
then after it was done, he just sat there kinda stunned, breathing deeply, and repeating, 'goddamm', over and over and over.
so it's heartbreaking on multiple levels.
i hate making kids cry w/ injections.
he's using his words... but who in the world taught him those words? he's only 6.
anyway, i tried to get him to calm down, like trying to calm down a baby.
calvin, not really knowing what to say goes, "umm... maybe you can use different words to express your pain?" or something along those lines.
i dunno if he heard that or not. we try to facilitate positive teaching moments w/ the patients. but unfortunately, the vulgar reaction is already kinda infused in his mind.
----------
hitched a ride w/ dexter the other day and he decided to drive down kensington. i never drove down that way before, usually taking frankford in the car or can't see the street from the train. anyway, totally shed new light on what people are talking about when they say "rough". my block doesn't seem that bad. the brokenness is masked by lots of storefronts and businesses. the corner towards somerset is more notorious for drugs, prostitution and other crime. def more people spaced out on the corners and sitting on the stoops.
when it's bright and sunny outside it doesn't seem that bad. and sometimes i entertain the idea of incarnational ministry... like living and working among the people.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
my friend jenny told me she recently went to rural alabama to visit some friends. one of the locals found out she was from the north and said, "hey! let's give her a real southern experience!!!"
so they took her
-fishing (for catfish)
-shooting (with rifles at pop cans in a field)
-dirt biking (around the farm and through mud puddles)
true story.
so the other day when she was telling me all this, i was wondering what one would do as an ambassador in philly for a guest/foreigner and give them "a real philly experience!"
jenny was thinking maybe a ride on SEPTA. public transportation is def interesting here.
some other things i can think of...
-parallel parking!
-dodging bullets! (just kidding!)
-taking a cab
-tagging a wall (also kidding)
okay, i guess some typical philly activities:
-cheesesteak
-run up the rocky steps at the art museum
-philly mural tour
-visiting all the historical sites
-going for a horse buggy ride
-pro sports game
and much much more
so they took her
-fishing (for catfish)
-shooting (with rifles at pop cans in a field)
-dirt biking (around the farm and through mud puddles)
true story.
so the other day when she was telling me all this, i was wondering what one would do as an ambassador in philly for a guest/foreigner and give them "a real philly experience!"
jenny was thinking maybe a ride on SEPTA. public transportation is def interesting here.
some other things i can think of...
-parallel parking!
-dodging bullets! (just kidding!)
-taking a cab
-tagging a wall (also kidding)
okay, i guess some typical philly activities:
-cheesesteak
-run up the rocky steps at the art museum
-philly mural tour
-visiting all the historical sites
-going for a horse buggy ride
-pro sports game
and much much more
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
allez kensington
haven't walked up and down the neighbourhood in a while. monday i didn't have a lunch so i went out to get a slice of pizza.
before i could order the person in front of me asks, "excuse me miss, do you have an extra $2 so that i could get another slice of pizza?"
in my head: "what just happened? who are you? i don't even know what to say."
me: "sorry, could you repeat that please?"
dude: "i just bought one slice of pizza [sitting on the counter], but i want to eat two, except that i don't have enough money."
me: [still confused] "so you don't have another two dollars? and you want me to give you money to buy another slice of pizza?"
dude: "yes, miss."
in my head: "i really don't have time to think about this right now. my cash is already in my hand and i visibly do have an extra two dollars. he's like 6 feet tall, and looks maybe age 24-29?
get a job, ninja!!!"
me: "ok, i'll buy you a piece of pizza."
dude: "thank you so much, miss."
me: "maybe you should watch your cholesterol." [as i'm walking away with my pepperoni pizza dripping in grease...]
dude: "huh?"
me: "yeah."
before i could order the person in front of me asks, "excuse me miss, do you have an extra $2 so that i could get another slice of pizza?"
in my head: "what just happened? who are you? i don't even know what to say."
me: "sorry, could you repeat that please?"
dude: "i just bought one slice of pizza [sitting on the counter], but i want to eat two, except that i don't have enough money."
me: [still confused] "so you don't have another two dollars? and you want me to give you money to buy another slice of pizza?"
dude: "yes, miss."
in my head: "i really don't have time to think about this right now. my cash is already in my hand and i visibly do have an extra two dollars. he's like 6 feet tall, and looks maybe age 24-29?
get a job, ninja!!!"
me: "ok, i'll buy you a piece of pizza."
dude: "thank you so much, miss."
me: "maybe you should watch your cholesterol." [as i'm walking away with my pepperoni pizza dripping in grease...]
dude: "huh?"
me: "yeah."
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
what goes around comes around.
today i stopped in happy donut for my first water ice of the season. i rarely see asians in kensington. and when i do i gawk like a tourist. so, the staff at happy donut are of east asian descent. and i paid my dollar then blurt, "are you chinese? vietnamese? ...(come on, humour me here...)" then the woman looks at me, kinda surprised with a hint of offended, and goes, "we're cambodian". "umm... are YOU chinese?"
"no, i'm taiwanese." hehe. waah.
[IT'S TAIWANESE AMERICAN HERITAGE WEEK]
anyway, i walked back to work and told my coworkers how i made a "racist" comment and asked if they were chinese. which is a 2% legit question, since happy donut sells "chinese food". but i shoulda/coulda guessed cambodian because, statistically speaking, the likelihood that an asian doughnut shop owner would be cambodian is definitely higher compared to other ethnicities.
so in that moment i instantly forgave everyone who has ever asked me such questions.
later today i was walking home and i hear someone say, "ni hao!" with incorrect tones.
i decide to humour him, turn around, and say "ni hao! teeheehee" back. i couldn't help the giggling at the end.
of course during the rest of my walk back i thought of everything i should have said:
"hai hao!!! hao jiu bu jien!!! ni ne?!!!" (chinese 101 skit #1)
"ninja!" (ninja as a euphemism for a really bad 'n' word)
"wassup mah brutha!"
"hakuna matata?" (just tryin' to reciprocate and speak your language here...)
this also made me think of j at work, who still calls me 'chinita' even though all my team tells him, "oooh daaang, you betta not call her dat coz she not chinese."
so my future comeback is to dish it back to him and call him mexican. which i'm sure he will appreciate.
today i stopped in happy donut for my first water ice of the season. i rarely see asians in kensington. and when i do i gawk like a tourist. so, the staff at happy donut are of east asian descent. and i paid my dollar then blurt, "are you chinese? vietnamese? ...(come on, humour me here...)" then the woman looks at me, kinda surprised with a hint of offended, and goes, "we're cambodian". "umm... are YOU chinese?"
"no, i'm taiwanese." hehe. waah.
[IT'S TAIWANESE AMERICAN HERITAGE WEEK]
anyway, i walked back to work and told my coworkers how i made a "racist" comment and asked if they were chinese. which is a 2% legit question, since happy donut sells "chinese food". but i shoulda/coulda guessed cambodian because, statistically speaking, the likelihood that an asian doughnut shop owner would be cambodian is definitely higher compared to other ethnicities.
so in that moment i instantly forgave everyone who has ever asked me such questions.
later today i was walking home and i hear someone say, "ni hao!" with incorrect tones.
i decide to humour him, turn around, and say "ni hao! teeheehee" back. i couldn't help the giggling at the end.
of course during the rest of my walk back i thought of everything i should have said:
"hai hao!!! hao jiu bu jien!!! ni ne?!!!" (chinese 101 skit #1)
"ninja!" (ninja as a euphemism for a really bad 'n' word)
"wassup mah brutha!"
"hakuna matata?" (just tryin' to reciprocate and speak your language here...)
this also made me think of j at work, who still calls me 'chinita' even though all my team tells him, "oooh daaang, you betta not call her dat coz she not chinese.
so my future comeback is to dish it back to him and call him mexican. which i'm sure he will appreciate.
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